英语幽默笑话大全爆笑
笑一笑，十年少，小编为大家整理了英语大全爆笑,希望大家能展颜一笑,记得每天都要开心一刻哦!嘻嘻!
英语幽默笑话大全爆笑篇一：
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
"She is the one who sells the candy."
“她是个卖糖果的。”
英语幽默笑话大全爆笑篇二：
In the Eden,Adam told the God:”I’m lonely,I need a company.”
“Ok,”said the God,”I will give U a perfect woman,beautiful smart and gentle.She will cook clean and do everything for U,without any complaint and question.”
“Sounds good,”Adam said,”But,to make such a good lady,WHAT is the cost?”
“One arm and One leg.”
“OH,expensive!”after thought for a while,Adam asked:”How about just one RIB?”
在天堂里,亚当对上帝说:”我太寂寞了,我须要一个人陪我.”
“好的”,上帝答到.”我将要给你一个完美的女人,美丽,聪明而且温柔,她将毫无怨言地为你烧饭,为你做一切事情.”
“那太好了.” 亚当说道.”但是,要做出这么一个完美的女士,我须要付出什么呢?”
“一只手和一条腿.”
“噢,那代价太大了!”想了一会,亚当接着问:” 一根肋骨怎么样?”
英语幽默笑话大全爆笑篇三：
男: This seat empty?(这个座位是空的`吧?)
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。)【我立马走人】
男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)
女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)【我不想和你有任何交集】
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)
女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】
男：Can I have your name?(我能知道你的名字吗?)
女：Why? Don''t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)
男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)【长的真丑】
男：I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)
女：Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】
英语幽默笑话大全爆笑篇四：
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”