最搞笑的英文笑话

　　最搞笑的英文笑话一：

　　Keys? Kiss? 　　A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

　　最搞笑的英文笑话二：

　　The Same Action Yields the Same Result A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest,and made an appointment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pilot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane as well."So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he said, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area.The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed the area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last year."

　　最搞笑的英文笑话三：

　　Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

　　一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。

　　"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.

　　“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的.环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”

　　On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

　　在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么?”

　　"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.

　　“很遗憾，”她说，“你活不成了。”

　　Notes: 　　gravely adv.特别严重地 　　physician n.医生 　　motion v.以动作或手示意 　　ensure v.保证 　　survival n.生存 　　stress-free adj.没有压力的 　　complain(about)v.抱怨;发牢骚 　　passionate adj.热烈的