中式英语笑话

　　中式：Anewguy

　　A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

　　Bartender: "Well, FIRST you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can`t make a face while doing it. SECOND, there`s a `gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. THIRD, there`s a woman up-stairs who`s never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her.

　　Man: Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won`t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and the requirements get crazier from there.

　　Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where`s that woman with the sore tooth?"

　　中式英语笑话：sandwiches

　　There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex. So they go to the girls house and before entering the girl stops the guy and says.

　　"My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing, so when I say `baloney` it means push harder, and when I say `pastrami` it means push slower."

　　With this the two get onto the top bunk and have sex. First, the girl moans, "baloney,baloney,baloney" then shouts "pastrami,pastrami,pastrami" and then back to "baloney,baloney,baloney"

　　Finally, the girls sister says "Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there, you`re getting mayonaise all over me!"

　　中式英语笑话：苦命的'salesman

　　苦命的 salesman An insect repellent salesman tried to sell his product to a farmer. He said he wasn"t interested because he hadn"t seen any bugs or insects on his farm for years. The salesman indicated he had a wife and four kids and really needed the money. The farmer still didn"t think he needed any insect repellent but he felt sorry for the salesman and said,I"m so sure there aren"t any insects around here, if you"ll strip naked, I"ll tie you to my barnyard fence for the entire night. When morning comes, if you"ve got even one insect bite on you, I"ll buy every can of repellent you"ve got. The salesman was elated and readily agreed to being tied up naked. That night, the farmer tied the naked salesman to the barnyard fence and went to bed. Several times during the night he thought he heard the salesman moaning and groaning. However, when he went out the next morning, the salesman didn"t have even one bite or scratch on him. The farmer asked,What was all that moaning and groaning about last night?That was the worst night of my life, the salesman replied,doesn"t that damn calf have a mother?