特搞英语笑话爆笑大全
不知大家可看过相亲这个，yjbys小编呀觉得特别的搞笑，分享给你们看哦。 相亲 Blind Date After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!" 和盲约对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的'祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!” 《律师、宝马和胳膊》 A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined. 一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。 “警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。 "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" “你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。” 律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?” The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother. “乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问 I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..... “妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得
6。” The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? “你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?” 老师发问道。 A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl. “把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。 Another 40 Years to live A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you." 一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院， 在手术台上，濒临死亡之际，她看到了上帝， 于是，她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。 上帝回答说，“还没有，你还能活43年，2个月零8天。” 身体快要康复的时候，这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年，得好好对待自己，于是决定先不出院，而是去给自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术。 她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。 做完最后一个手术，这位女士出院了， 但就在过马路的时候，她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。 再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地问上帝，“我记得你说我还能再活40年?” 上帝回答，“那个时候我没认出你来”。