雷人囧事英语笑话3则

　　他真病了吗 Is He Really ill

　　On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.

　　"Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else.

　　"No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance," yells another person.

　　"A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody, and do as the kind lady says!"

　　在一个炎热的夏天，一位上了年纪的男子昏倒在街头。一群人立刻围了上去。

　　“给这个可怜的人一杯白兰地吧。” 一位女士建议。

　　“给他一点治心脏病的药。” 另外一个人说。

　　“不，还是给他一些白兰地，”那位女士坚持说。

　　“还是叫一辆救护车吧。” 有人叫道。

　　“一杯白兰地。”

　　这时地上的'那个人坐了起来，嚷着，“都闭嘴，就照那位好心的太太说得去做!”

　　聪明的马 A smart horse

　　There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing(耕地) , and his horse immediately galloped(疾驰，飞奔) five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.

　　"That’s a pretty smart horse," the farmer’s friend later observed.

　　"Well, he’s not really so smart," the farmer said. "The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"

　　一位农夫在犁田时，不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股，他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇，载了一位医生回来。一个朋友看到后便夸赞说：“你这匹马真是聪明!”

　　农夫说：“也没有你想的那么聪明啦!它带来的是一位兽医!”

　　你爸爸帮你了吗? Did your dad help you?

　　One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"

　　"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.

　　一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说：“蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?”

　　“不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。”