愚人节笑话英语笑话版

　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket愚人节笑话版送给爱笑的你。

　　年少无知

　　Jimmy is three years old.

　　吉米3岁了。

　　One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"

　　一天，他正在窗口观望，夜幕降临。他突然喊道：“妈妈，妈妈，快来关窗!”

　　"Why? It's not cold, sonny."

　　“为什么?天不冷呀，宝贝。”

　　"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."

　　“是的，妈妈，可黑夜会进来。”

　　快速靠岸

　　A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

　　在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。 他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”

　　冰箱里的小兔子

　　A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

　　一位女士打开冰箱门，发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上，就问它：“你在那里做什么?”

　　The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

　　兔子回答：“这是Westinghouse对不对?”(Westinghouse，西屋电气公司)

　　The lady confirmed, "Yes."

　　女士确认道：“没错。”

　　"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."

　　兔子说：“那就对了，我就是要往西边去。”

　　Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?

　　兔子：你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的`病?

　　Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.

　　医生：当然咯，凡是喝过的兔子没有一只来要第二瓶的。

　　Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?

　　兔宝宝：妈咪，我是从哪儿来的呢?

　　Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.

　　兔妈妈：等你长大点再告诉你。

　　Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.

　　兔宝宝：噢妈咪，现在就告诉我吧，求您了。

　　Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.

　　兔妈妈：如果你一定要知道，那我告诉你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽出来的。

　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　他的耳朵在我衣兜里

　　伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”

　　“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

　　“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

　　“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

　　钱不用找了

　　Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

　　在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。

　　I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.

　　我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。“零钱不用找了。”他说。