中篇幽默英语笑话大全2014

　　中篇幽默大全2014：Adultshavelearned

　　Great truths about life that adults have learned

　　Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

　　There is always alot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For example: I‘m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don‘t hurt.

　　One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

　　Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.

　　The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of their tires.

　　Families are like fudge....mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

　　Today‘s mighty oak is just yesterday‘s nut that held its ground.

　　Laughing helps. It‘s like jogging on the inside.

　　Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

　　My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

　　If you can remain calm, you just don‘t have all the facts.

　　中篇幽默英语笑话大全2014：Wehavenewbabies

　　For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

　　One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

　　The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"

　　Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

　　中篇幽默英语笑话大全2014：Namingyourchild

　　There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother.

　　When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn‘t a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid.

　　When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.

　　He said, "The first one was a girl."

　　The mother: "What did you name her?!?"

　　Brother: "Denise!"

　　The Mom: "Oh, wow, that‘s not bad! What about the second one?"

　　Brother: "The second one was a boy."

　　The Mom: "Oh, and what did you name him?"

　　Brother: "Denephew."