I'm a police officer

　　一、I'm a police officer

　　When my husband, Jack, was a police officer, he once approached a home guarded by two ferocious dogs. They lunged at the screen door with such force that it opened, and they tore out into the yard.

　　Thinking quickly, Jack, stepped into the house, closing the door tightly behind him. " It's all right, ma'am," he reassured the homeowner " I'm a police officer."

　　"Not a very brave one," 'she observed.

　　我是警察

　　在我丈夫杰克还是警察的时候，一次他走近有两只恶狗看守的庭院。那两只狗奋力地扑抓纱门，把门弄开了并冲到院子里。

　　杰克反应迅速，三步并两步地跨入房子里，牢牢地关上身后的门。“没事了，女士，”他安慰家主道，“我是警察。”

　　“可不是很勇敢的一个。”她淡淡地说。

　　二、胖男人和瘦男人，谁更礼貌

　　fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.

　　The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was the more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

　　一个胖男人和一个瘦男人正在为谁更有礼貌而争吵。

　　瘦男人说他更礼貌，因为他总是向一个女士脱帽致意。但是胖男人说他更礼貌，因为无论何时他起身给女士让座总是能让两位女士同时坐下。

　　三、An Explanation of Tardiness

　　In some Government offices the clerks， upon arrival in themorning， have to sign their names in anattendance book.This book provides space for signature， time of arrival， andremarks. Ten minutes after the hour an official draws a redline under the last arrival's name， and all those coming subsequently are expected to furnish an explanation of their tardinessin theremarks column.

　　When a realLondon particular① occurs the numberbelow the line is legion ;the first of them wirtes：Delayedby fog， and the rest scribble aditto.

　　One morninga foggy oneMr. Jones became a proud father;but even this only caused him to be about eleven minutes late. Proudly he wrote in explanation：Wife had twins，which was followed in due course by the usual string of ditto's!

　　迟到的原因

　　在一些政府机关里，每天早晨到达办公室时职员们都要在一本签到簿上签上他们的'名字。这本签到簿留出空格签名，写签到时间，还有备注。上班时间过后十分钟，一个官员就在最后一个人的名字下面划一道红线。以后来的每一个人都必须在备注栏里注明迟到的原因。

　　当真正的伦敦大雾出现的时候，红线以下的名字就很多。第一个迟到的人写上因大雾延误时间，其他的人，在下面草草写上丷(同上)。

　　一天早上一个大雾迷漫的早晨琼斯先生骄傲地当上了父亲;但即使是这种事也只让他迟到了十一分钟。他自豪地写上他的原因：妻子生了一对双胞胎，到一定的时候，这个解释下面照例又跟了一串丷。