短篇英语笑话大全爆笑

　　A man has a long history of stealing cars. When he did it again, he was caught by the police.

　　The prosecutor asked him, "Now tell the court how you came to take that car." To defend himself, the man said, "The car was parked by a cemetery. I thought the owner was dead, and then I took it."

　　有个人有长期偷车的经历。当他又一次偷车时，被警察抓住了。检控官对他说：“现在要告诉法庭你是怎样偷走这部车的。”

　　检察官问他，“现在据实交代你为何要偷这辆车。”这个人为自己辩解说：“这部车是停在一个墓地旁的。我以为车主已经死了，就把它开走了。”

 

　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的伤害罪，蓄意的破坏) to ensue.

　　三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。

　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!

　　右边的.零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：大减价!特便宜!

 

　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!

　　There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a mad man driving the wrong way on Route 280!"

　　一位年长的市民在高速路上行驶。他的妻子给他打电话，担心地说：“赫尔曼，小心啊! 我刚刚在收音机上听到有个疯子在280公路上逆行!”

　　Herman says, "I know, I’m on Route 280 but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!"

　　赫尔曼说：“我知道，我就在280公路上呢! 可是这儿不只有一个疯子啊，有上百个呢!”

 

　　The kids have slept through the night!They were so easy that I took the liberty of dozing off myself.It is just so great babysitting for you guys.

　　孩子们今晚睡的很好，他们很快就睡了，我就自己去睡了。能给你们做保姆太棒了。

 

　　In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫) baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."

　　A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(称赞，表扬) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert."

　　The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."

　　一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。"

　　站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。”

　　男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特”。

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