古今英语笑话五年级

　　一些英语典故可是很多老美都耳熟 ，下次换你去取笑老美的时候，就可以用到YJBYS小编为您整理的英语了。

　　Mushroom and Toadstool 蘑菇与毒蕈

　　Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool(毒菌) ?Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.

　　年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢?年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇。

　　救出哪幅画?

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?”

　　获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”

　　A Thank-you Note

　　Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

　　有一次，我收到一封感谢信，是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。信封内有五张彩票，都被刮过了，露出了数字。“非常感谢您的`帮助，”信上写道，“作为礼物，我给您买了些彩票----真遗憾，您没中奖。”

　　Excellent Skills

　　After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd.

　　In an instant, a skycap was at his side. "Sir," observed the porter, " you certainly have excellent communication skills.

　　我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后，他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈，丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。

　　一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生，”脚夫说道，“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。”

　　可怜的人

　　"Oh, my poor man," exclaimed the kind old lady， "It must be dreadful to be lame. But it would be much worse if you were blind."

　　"You're absolutely right," said the beggar, obviously an old hand at the game." When I was blind, people kept giving me foreign coins."

　　"啊，可怜的人，"善良的老妇人惊叹道。"脚瘸就够惨的了，要是眼瞎就更糟了。"

　　"你说的一点儿没错，"那乞丐说。他显然是乞讨老手。"我眼瞎的时候，人们老是给我外币。"

　　终身保修

　　After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

　　在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

　　CD唱机

　　While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.

　　在购买我的第一部CD唱机时，我能够解读推销标记上面的大多数技术语言。但是有一个标示却让我颇为迷惑，于是我叫过销售商，问道：‘混合脉冲D/A变换器’是什么意思?它的意思是，她说，这个机器能够读CD碟上加码的数字信息，将它转换成声音信息-也就是说，转换成音乐。换句话说，这个CD唱机能够播放CD碟。正是如此。