爆笑英语笑话6则

　　导语“笑话中也蕴含着智慧，通过英文笑话学习英语也是一件好事，今天小编就为大家整理了6则爆笑，希望大家喜欢!

　　1 “S-A-L-E.(处理品)”

　　About two weeks before our fifth anniversary, my husband ased me what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical1 and romantic.

　　On our anniversary, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet2. "A little four-letter word made me get this for you," he said softly.

　　"Oh, how sweet," I whispered. "L-O-V-E?"

　　"No," he replied. "S-A-L-E."

　　我们结婚五周年前大约两周时，我丈夫问我喜欢什么礼物。我告诉他我要那些没有实用价值却又富于浪漫色彩的。

　　在我们的周年纪念日那天，他向我展示了一副可爱的金手镯。“一个小小的四字词，让我为你买了这个。”他温和地说。

　　“哦，多甜蜜。”我耳语他。“L-O-V-E(爱)?”

　　“不对，”他回答。“S-A-L-E.(处理品)”

　　2 那不是我的孩子，那是我丈夫

　　"Did the children behave when you bathed them?" inquired the mistress to the new French nurse, when she returned home from the party.

　　"All but the biggest boy? We have only one boy, Freddy, and he's only two years old."

　　"Which biggest boy? We have only one boy, Freddy, and he is only two years old."

　　"It is not little Freddy, I mean. It is the big boy with glasses and curly hair."

　　"Good gracious! That's not my boy, that's my husband."

　　“你给孩子们洗澡的时候他们规矩不规矩?” 一位女士从宴会回家后对一名法国护士询问道。

　　“除了那个最大的男孩，其他表现都很好。在我把他放到水里之前，他又闹又踹。”护士回答道。

　　“哪个最大的男孩?我们只有一个男孩，弗雷德，他只有两岁。”

　　“不是小弗雷德，我是说那个戴着眼镜卷头发的大男孩。”“老天，那不是我的孩子，那是我丈夫。”

　　3 逍遥自在地享清福

　　round and round Lao wang rested under the tree, Lao li came up and said, "hey, why not go up the hill cutting wood?" Pharaoh said: "cut wood stem what?" Lao li said: "good money! Sold into money can buy a donkey, then along home door-to-door selling wood. Zheng money will buy trucks, and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware, buy more trucks, so that you can be really rich." The old king: "fortune"? Lao li answer: "fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well." Pharaoh said, "that you think I doing now?"

　　周而复始 老王在树下休息，老李走过来对他说：“嗨，为什么不去上山砍柴?” 老王说：“砍柴干什么?” 老李说：“好卖钱啊。卖到钱就可以买驴，再沿家挨户卖柴。挣了钱就再 买卡车，然后买木厂卖木 器，再买更多的卡车，那样就可以发大财了。” 老王问：“发了财干什么?” 老李答：“发了财就可以逍遥自在地享清福嘛。” 老王说：“那你以为我现在在干什么?”

　　4 火鸡就是不肯老实地坐着

　　This pampered young lady had left her family for the first time to join the college and was feeling quite lonely on Thanksgiving. She decided to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for herself. She was narrating her first experience in the kitchen to her mother and mother really wanted to know about the results. When asked how the food was, the lady replied with a shudder that though the ready-made soup and pizza were great, she had quite a trouble with turkey. Trying to get to the root of the problem, the mother asked, "Was it burnt?" The lady replied, "Oh! I couldn't taste it mom. It simply wouldn't sit still!"

　　一位养尊处优的年轻小姐头一回离家去上大学，到了感恩节她倍感孤单。她决定为自己做一顿感恩节大餐。她正在向自己的母亲描述自己第一次做饭的经历，而母亲也很想知道结果如何。当被问及做得好不好吃，这位小姐打了一个颤说，尽管速食汤和批萨不错，但是烹饪火鸡时却遇到了不小的麻烦。她的`母亲想找到问题的根源，于是就问她：“是不是烤焦了?”这位小姐回答道：“哦，我没法品尝它，妈妈。火鸡就是不肯老实地坐着!”

　　5 总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?

　　A Woman Who Fell

　　It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

　　上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车.接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了.她的惯性使她接近了我的脚.我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来.她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”

　　6 自从我牙齿掉光后

　　A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him. While he's talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off. As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."

　　一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。

　　当他和祖母聊天时，他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都给吃光了。他们离开时，他的朋友对祖母说:"谢谢您的花生。" 结果祖母说:"唉!自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。"