经典简短爆笑英语笑话

　　对每个人来说,凡是身体好者,一般都是笑口常开,面带喜色。下面由YJBYS小编给你送上的，感谢您的阅读。

　　太黑了，看不见

　　After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

　　晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”

　　I Am Going to Shop 我要去购物啦

　　“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

　　我帮来购物的.女士包好东西后，问道：“是付现金、支票还是记账呢?” 当她找钱包的时候，我注意到她的包包里竟放着一个电视遥控器。

　　“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

　　我问：“你一直都随身带电视遥控器的吗?”

　　“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.”

　　她回答说：“不是啦。但我老公不乐意跟我一起来购物，所以我决定拿走他的遥控器来惩罚他。”

　　At a Department Store 在百货商店里

　　A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

　　一个结巴壮汉走进一家百货公司问柜员：“男……男装部在……在哪儿?”

　　The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

　　柜台后的柜员看着他不搭话。

　　The man repeats himself, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.

　　那男人又重复道：“男装……装部在……在哪儿?”柜员还是不理他。

　　The guy asks several more times, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?” And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry and storms off.

　　壮汉问了好几遍柜员依旧如故。最后，壮汉气冲冲地走了。

　　The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s questions?”

　　排在后面的顾客问那个柜员：“你怎么不答人家话呀?”

　　The clerk answers, “D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!!”

　　柜员说：“你……你觉着我……我想找打……打是吧!?”

　　冰箱里的储蓄罐

　　My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy.

　　我表妹总是从她哥哥的小猪扑满里“借钱”，她哥哥对此事感到很愤怒。

　　One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.

　　一天，表妹四处寻找，最后竟然在冰箱里发现了扑满。

　　Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."

　　扑满里有张纸条：“亲爱的妹妹，我希望你能够理解，我的资产现在已被冻结。”

　　I Understand Him我懂他的话

　　While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . "Mump umn Kmpfhm," was all I heard.

　　"Drew," I scolded, "no one can understand a word you're saying.

　　"He says he wants some ketchup," my husband said calmly .　A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, "How in the world did you understand him?"

　　"I'm a dentist," my husband explained.

　　在饭店吃饭的时候，我申斥我4岁的儿子，因为他满嘴食物在说话。“喔、呢”，我听到的就是这些。 “祖，”我责备道，“没人明白你在说什么。” “他说他要一些番茄酱，”我丈夫平静地说。坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道：“你究竟如何明白他的话的呢?” “我是牙医。”我丈夫解释道。