英语笑话大全集

　　它会伤害到你 it would hurt you

　　"Why is it that three of our four children have black hair but little Jim is a blond? Whose child is Jim?"

　　"I can't tell you the truth," said his wife after a long pause. "it would hurt you too much."

　　"Oh, don't be ridiculous," he insisted. "I don't mind who the father is. I'm just curious."

　　The wife ffinally confessed. "Well, if you really want to know, Jim is your child."

　　"为什么我们四个孩子中，三个是黑头发，而小吉姆却是金色头发?吉姆是谁的孩子?"

　　“我不能告诉你，”他妻子停了许久才说，“那会伤害你太深。”

　　“ 哦，别无聊了，”他坚持着，“我不在乎他的父亲是谁,只是好奇而已。”

　　妻子最后承认了。“好吧，如果你真想知道的'话，吉姆是你的孩子。”.

　　因祸得福 To Profit from a Misfortune

　　A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

　　At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

　　The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

　　有一个人很粗心，老是打烂东西。他已失业好几个月了。

　　最后他在一个瓷器店找到了一个工作。可是才干了几天，他就打烂了一个很大的花瓶。

　　经理把他到办公室去，告诉他每个星期都要扣他的工钱，直到赔偿够了为止。他就问：“那个花瓶值多少钱?”经理说：“值500美元。”他很高兴地说：“啊!太妙了，我非常高兴，终于有个稳定的工作啦。”

　　Dating for Mother 约会

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

　　在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗?” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她?”