幽默短篇英语笑话集锦

　　All Except the Music除了音乐

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"

　　"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的.印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”

　　“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”

　　I don't think I know-我不知道啊

　　Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

　　John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

　　Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

　　John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘

　　老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。约翰：“我想我不知道”。

　　迟到的原因The Reason of Being Late

　　Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

　　Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

　　老　师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

　　约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。

　　玩藏猫猫

　　A bunch of great, DEAD scientists were playing hide-and-seek in heaven. When it's Einstein's turn to be the seeker, he counted untill 100 and opened his eyes. All the others were hide, but only Newton were still standing there.

　　一群伟大的科学家去世后在天堂里玩藏猫猫。轮到爱因斯坦抓人，他数到100睁开眼睛，看到所有的人都藏起来了，只有牛顿还站在那里。

　　I don't think I know

　　Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"

　　John: "What do you think it is, sir?"

　　Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"

　　John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"

　　老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。

　　约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?

　　老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。

　　约翰：“我想我不知道”。

　　Good news or Bad news?

　　An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.

　　"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.

　　"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.

　　"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

　　"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"

　　With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。

　　“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。”店主回答。

　　“先告诉我好消息。”画家要求道。

　　“好消息是一位绅士询问了你的作品，还问它是否会在你死后增。我告诉他会的，然后他买下了你所有的15幅画作。”

　　“那太棒了!”画家惊叹。“那么什么会是坏消息呢?”

　　店主想了想之后说：“问那个问题的是你的医生”。