笑不停的英语笑话

　　闯红灯

　　Two guys were riding down the street in a car. They come to a red light. The driver runs the red light. The passenger cries out "Hey, why did you do that?" The driver says, "Don't worry about it, my brother does it all the time."

　　They came to another red light, and the same thing happens. The passenger is visibly upset and threatens to get out of the car the next chance he gets. At the next light, which is green, the driver slams on his brakes and comes to a screeching halt.

　　The passenger is confused and asks, "What the heck is wrong with you? You ran two red lights but you stop at the green one."

　　The driver responds: "My brother might be coming from the other way!"

　　两个男人开车前行，路遇一红灯，司机呼啸而过。乘客大叫：“嘿!你干吗这样做?”司机说：“别担心，我兄弟经常这么干。”

　　又遇一红灯，司机依旧呼啸而过。乘客显然愤怒了，威胁说如果下次再闯红灯他就下车。路遇一绿灯，司机猛踩刹车，车子嘎然而止。

　　乘客迷惑了，问道：“你有病吧?刚才闯了两个红灯，现在绿灯了你倒停了。”

　　司机回答：“我兄弟可能会从那边过来。

　　带它去动物园

　　A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind of monkey business are you getting up to?”

　　He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in."

　　The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!"

　　So the policeman took the monkey out.

　　Three or four days later, he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door, put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked, "Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo."

　　The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to see a movie."

　　有一位警察大哥带了只猴子给他上司看，他上司就说他：“你搞什么猴子把戏?”

　　警察大哥说：“这猴子在大街上到处乱跑，什么法律都不懂，我把它捉了回来，治它的`罪。”

　　上司说：“天啊，你怎么那么笨?捉到猴子就把它带到动物园去嘛，带给我干嘛?带它到动物园去。”

　　后来那警察大哥就带了猴子出去了。

　　三、四天后还看见他跟猴子手拉手打开警察车门让猴子坐进去，正准备开车，他上司跑了出来说他：“天啊，为什么到现在还把猴子留在这儿，我不是叫你把它带到动物园去的吗?为什么还在这儿?”

　　警察大哥：“我有呀!我已经带它去了动物园，今天带它去看电影!”

　　他赢了

　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

　　Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

　　Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

　　汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?

　　约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

　　汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?

　　约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。