令人捧腹的英语爆笑笑话

　　导语：爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，因为笑可以让人充满正能量，更能让自己面对挫折，勇往直前，这里YJBYS小编收集整理了令人捧腹的英语爆笑笑话，让你爆笑每一天。

　　

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1、 话说有一名英文不太好的.男子，竟然泡上一名洋妞。

　　一天，情到浓时，该男子用不太好的英文对洋妞女友说:『I Love You!』

　　洋女听见大喜，说:『I Love You，too;

　　那名男子不明所以，竟说:『I Love You，three.....!

　　

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2、 "高中的时候

　　很多学校都有各种各样的模拟考

　　有一个人

　　他的英语很烂很烂

　　一次英文模拟考

　　题目是“A Dog”

　　结果那个人就这样写——

　　One day I see a dog.

　　I said""Hi!""

　　Dog said""Hi!""

　　I said""Can you speak Chinese?""

　　Dog said""Yes!""

　　I said""So,let""s speak Chinese!""

　　Dog said""O.K.""

　　......"

　　

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3、 "有一天,一个印地安小孩问他爸爸说:""dad,我的名字怎么来的?""父亲

　　回答说:""我们族人命名都是以小孩子刚出生时,父亲看到的第一见事物来命名的""像你哥哥,他刚出生时,我一出门就见到了青山,所以他叫Blue-mountain像你姊姊,她刚出生时,我一出门就见到鸟在飞,所以他叫Bird-flying.这就是我们族人命名的方式.

　　父亲顿了一下,然後回过头说:""对了,Dog-fucking,你刚刚问我什么问题?"""

　　

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4、 "One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.

　　有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪………

　　Girl: Father, I have sinned.

　　女孩：神父，我有罪。

　　Preacher: What did you do, little girl?

　　神父：孩子，你犯了什麽罪呢?

　　Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a ""son of a Bitch.""

　　女孩：昨天，我骂了某个男人一句：「你这个狗娘养的9

　　......"

　　

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5、 "有一个男的十分爱他的女朋友 于是就把他女朋友的名字""WENDY"" 刻在他的""那话儿""上,于是当""那话 儿""缩小时只看到缩写""WY"",有一次他和他的女朋友到夏威 夷去玩,他在上厕所时看到隔壁那 个外国人的""那话儿""也有""WY""字 样,于是很兴奋的问那个外国人: ""你的女朋有也叫""WENDY""吗? 外国人回答说:""NO,NO,我刻的是: ""WELCOME TO HAWAI AND ENJOY YOUR HOLODAY"""

　　

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6、 There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch(西瓜地)at night and eat his watermelons.

　　After some careful thought he comes up with a clever idea that he thinks will scare the kids away for sure. So he makes up a sign and posts it in the field.

　　......

　　

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7、 "Can you explain to me what the difference is between a high-pitched and low-pitched voice?

　　""A high-pitched voice is when my father scolds me;a low-pitched voice is when my father speaks with his boss."""

　　

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8、 A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.

　　......

　　

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9、 "A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.

　　She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

　　......"

　　10、 "A man enters a restaurant, takes a seat, and, instead of using the napkin, takes the table cloth from the table and tucks it around his neck.

　　The head waiter sees it and tells the waiter to go and tell him, in a diplomatic way, that what he did was incorrect.

　　......"