爆笑经典英语笑话简短

　　带来的笑能刺激呼吸系统和血液循环,缓解关节疼痛,预防感冒至癌症等许多病症的发生。下面由YJBYS小编为您送上的英语笑话。

　　奇怪的关系

　　Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

　　四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"

　　一分钟一百万

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."

　　一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

　　神父，他有AIDS

　　One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪...Girl: Father, I have sinned.女孩：神父，我有罪。Preacher: What did you do, little girl?神父：孩子，你犯了什么罪呢?Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a "son of a Bitch."女孩：昨天，我骂了某个男人一句：“你这个狗娘养的。”Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?神父：为什么?他对你做了什么吗?Girl: He touched my breast.女孩：他...他摸我的胸部。Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)神父：你是说像这样子吗?(神父伸手摸女孩的胸部)Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.女孩：(因为神父的举动而有一些害羞)嗯...是的。Preacher: That s no reason to call him that.神父：只是这样子的`话你没有理由骂他。Girl: But he also took off my cloth.女孩：但是...他又把我的衣服脱掉。Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)神父：你是说像这样子吗?(神父动手脱掉女孩的衣服)Girl: Yes, that s what he did.女孩：是的，是这样子没错。Preacher: That s still no reason to call him that.神父：可是这样子你还是没有理由骂他。Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...女孩：然後...他把他的...那个...放到我的...那个...里面...Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)神父：(奸笑貌)你是说像这样子吗?(神父和女孩就那个那个了)

　　Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that s what he did...女孩：(数分钟後)喔...是的...就是这样子...Preacher: My dear girl, that s still no reason to call him a...神父：我亲爱的孩子，就算是这样你还是没有理由骂他「你这个...」Girl: But he had AIDS!!女孩：但是他有AIDS呀!Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!神父：那个狗娘养的!!!