英语笑话带翻译长的

　　带翻译长的一：

　　"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class."No!" the children all answered."If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"Again, the answer was, "No!""Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?"A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"“

　　如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。孩子们齐声回答：“不能!”“那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?”回答还是：“不能!”“好吧， ”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?”一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!”

　　英语笑话带翻译长的'二：

　　The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. My son is a monsignor, said the first proud woman. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor.'The second mother went on, My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency.'

　　My son is a cardinal, continued the next one. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence.'The fourth mother thought for a moment. My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, she said, When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God.'

　　四个神职人员的母亲聚在一起谈论自己的儿子。我儿子是个牧师，第一个骄傲的母亲说，当他走进一个房间时，人们会说，‘您好，牧师。

　　第二个母亲接着说，我儿子是个主教，当他走进一个房间时，人们会说，‘您好，主教阁下。

　　我儿子是红衣主教，第三个母亲继续，当他走进一个房间时，人们会说，‘您好，尊敬的红衣主教。

　　第四个母亲想了一会儿，说：我儿子身高6尺10?，体重300磅，当他走进一个房间时，人们都说，‘哦，我的上帝!

　　英语笑话带翻译长的三：

　　The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集会，圣会) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of hisvoiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start(吓一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”