经典有趣的英语笑话

　　导语：幽默的人不仅仅会说笑话，还要懂得他人说的笑话，这里小编收集整理了经典有趣的，来测试一下你的幽默细胞的指数有多高吧!

　　1 Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar.

　　As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him.

　　Both of them stopped, staring at each other.

　　Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool."

　　"But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.

　　一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步。

　　碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。

　　两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：“我从来不给傻瓜让路。”

　　“可我给。”说完歌德退到了一边。

　　2 ?After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

　　Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.

　　When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said,

　　"I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.

　　""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　　和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。

　　他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。

　　当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”

　　“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　3 A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck.

　　This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on, he said.

　　I know, the employer said.

　　But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.

　　Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake, the worker answered, but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.

　　一个拿周薪的工人找到雇主，拿出上周的工资单，“比我们商量好的少了200美元，”他说。

　　“我知道，”雇主说，“但上星期我们多付了你200美元，也没听你抱怨。”

　　“好了，我并不介意偶尔犯错误，”工人回答，“但如果成了习惯，我觉得必须提起你的注意。”

　　4 A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand.

　　The officer asked how he could reward him.

　　"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.

　　If the other fellows know I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

　　一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。 “最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

　　5 Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of their mother.

　　"You ask her," said Paul, age ten.

　　"No," said Roy, age nine, "You ask her, you have known her longer than I have."

　　两个小男孩想找他们的母亲帮忙。

　　“你去找她。”十岁的保罗说。

　　“不，”九岁的罗伊说，“你去，你比我更早认识她。”

　　6 It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.

　　"What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

　　“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

　　“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”

　　在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。