英语笑话最新推荐

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　　The minister announced that he would preach on the subject of liars next Sunday. He said, "To make preparation for my discourse(论述，演讲), I hope you all read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."

　　On the following Sunday, when the minister began to preach, he said: "Now, if you have read the seventeenth chapter of Mark as I requested, please raise your hand." Almost everybody's hand went up.

　　Then the minister said: "I want to tell you that there is no seventeenth chapter of Mark."

　　牧师宣布下个礼拜天他布道时要讲说谎者的问题。他说：“为了给这次布道做好准备，我希望大家都去看看《马可福音》的第十七章。”

　　到了下个礼拜天，牧师开始布道时说：“如果你们按照我的要求看过《马可福音》的第十七章，现在举手。”几乎每个人都举了手。

　　牧师就说：“我要告诉你们，《马可福音》并没有第17章。”

　　The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集合，聚会)always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。

　　一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的`人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”

　　打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”

　　The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集会，圣会)always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start(吓一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。

　　一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”

　　打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”