最新英语笑话2015

　　最新2015一：

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

　　有位小老太太去看医生：“医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上，我在这里已经放了20多个屁，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。”

　　The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."

　　医生说：“好的，我明白了。吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。”

　　The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

　　一星期后老太太来了，“医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音，但是怎么这么臭!”

　　The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

　　医生说：“太好了!你的'嗅觉正常了，现在开始治听觉。”

　　最新英语笑话2015二：

　　A party of visitors were being shown round a lunatic asylum.They came across one individual in the grounds，with wild eyes，dishevelled hair，feverishly endeavouring to catchflies and keep them in his pocket.

　　一群游客被领着参观一所疯人院。在院子里他们遇见一个人，他长着一双疯狂的眼睛，头发蓬乱，正狂热地设法逮住苍蝇，把它们装在他的口袋里。

　　His was a sad case，said the attendant.Whilst he was at the war his wife abandoned his home and ran off with another man.

　　他的病很惨，陪同人说。在他当兵打仗的时候，他的妻子抛下他的家和另一个男人私奔了。

　　Terrible，said a visitor.

　　真可怕，一个游客说。

　　Presently they came to a padded cell，in which could be heard a raging as of a wild beast.

　　不久他们来到一间安上软垫的小屋前，听见里面传出野兽般的怒吼。

　　That's the other man，said the attendant.

　　这就是那另一个男人，陪同人说。

　　最新英语笑话2015三：

　　Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

　　A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

　　For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

　　In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

　　What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.

　　Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?