学生英语笑话大全笑破你肚子的笑话

　　不仅能让您心情愉快，并且在娱乐的过程中还可以学到更多的英语知识。下面YJBYS小编为您整理英语笑话。

　　Heart Transplant 心脏移植

　　A man has a heart attack and is brought to thehospital ER.

　　有一名男子患有心赃病，被送往医院急诊室。

　　The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.

　　医生告诉他，除非他立刻接受心脏移植，否则他就活不成。

　　Another doctor runs into the room and says,

　　另外一名，医生跑进急诊室说：

　　"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one youwant.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."

　　“你真幸运，刚好有两个心脏可移植，所以你要选择你要哪一个心脏。一个是属于律师，另一个是属于社会工作者。”

　　The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."

　　这名男子很快响应说：“律师的。”

　　The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make yourdecision?"

　　医生说：“等等!你不想在你做决定之前了解一下他们吗?”

　　The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts andthe attorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"

　　这名男子说：“我已经知道够了。大家都知道社会工作者都是流血的(有同情心的)心脏，而律师的心脏可能从来都不曾用过他的。所以我选择律师的心脏。"

　　The Funeral 葬礼

　　A funeral service is being held for a woman who hasjust passed away .

　　有一场刚过世的女子的葬礼正在举行。

　　At the end of the pall bearers are carrying the casket out

　　到了仪式的尾声，正当抬棺材的人要将棺材抬出之际。

　　when they accidentlly bump into a wall,jurring the casket.

　　他们一不小心撞到了一面墙壁，摇动了棺材。

　　They hear faint moan.

　　他们听到了一个微弱无力的呻吟声。

　　They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

　　他们将棺材 打开，发现到这个女子实际上还活着。

　　She lives for ten more years,and then dies.

　　她又活了十多年，然后就死了.

　　A ceremony is again held at the same place,

　　在同样的地点再次举行葬礼，

　　and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

　　而在葬礼的尾声， 抬棺材的人又再次要将棺材抬出去。

　　As they are walking,

　　正当他们在走路的时候，

　　the husband cries out,"Watch out for that damn wall!"

　　老公大声叫说：“小心 注意那面该死的.墙壁。”

　　爆笑类笑话：钥匙还是接吻 Keys Or Kiss 带翻译

　　A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States.

　　After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys."

　　The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

　　【中文翻译】

　　我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。

　　在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后，他请全班同学给他挑出尺子，书本，钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生，我的朋友说：“给我钥匙。”

　　那人看起来非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍：“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。