谐音英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子

　　同学们都闹出过怎样的笑话?不妨道来大家听听YJBYS小编为您整理的。

　　You don’t have to pay for lightning

　　Teacher：Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity?

　　Student：You don’ t have to pay for lightning.

　　闪电不用付钱

　　老师：谁能告诉我闪电与电的区别?

　　学生：闪电不用付钱。

　　H o n e s t y

　　A man who is driving a car stopped by a police officer.The following exchange takes place...

　　Man：What's the problem，officer?

　　Officer：You were going at least 75in a 55zone.

　　Man：No，sir，I was going 65.

　　Wife：Oh，Harry.You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

　　Officer：I' m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight.

　　Man：Broken taillight?I didn't know about a broken taillight。

　　Wife：Oh Harry，you've known about that tail for weeks.(Man gives his wife another dirty look.)

　　Officer：I' m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

　　Man：Oh，I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

　　Wife：Oh，Harry，you never wear your seat belt.

　　Man：Shut your dang mouth。

　　Officer：(Turns to the woman)：Ma ' am，does your husband talk to you this way all the time?

　　Wife：No，only when he's drunk.

　　诚 实

　　警官让一位驾车的男士停下车。随后出现如下的对话：

　　男士：警官，有什么问题?

　　警官：你在限速55英里的地段开到至少75英里。

　　男士：不，长官，是65英里。

　　妻子：啊，哈里，你刚才开到80英里。(男士瞪了妻子一眼。)

　　警官：我还要给你张罚单，你的尾灯碎了。

　　男士：尾灯碎了?你不说，我还真不知道尾灯碎了。

　　妻子：哦，哈里，几个星期以前你就知道了。(男士又恶狠狠地瞪了她一眼。)

　　警官：我还要给你张传票，你没系安全带。

　　男士：噢，你朝我车走过来的时候我才解开的`。

　　妻子：啊，哈里，你从来都不系安全带。

　　男士：闭上你的臭嘴。

　　警官：(转向女士)夫人，你丈夫总是这样跟你说话吗?

　　妻子：不，只有当他醉了的时候。

　　He must have a computer

　　A mother was teaching her 5-year-old son about God. “Do you know, ”she said to him one day, “that God knows where everybody is all the time, and exactly what they are doing. ”The little boy looked at his mother wide-eyed and said, “Wow. He must have a computer.”

　　他一定有台电脑

　　一位母亲给她5岁的儿子讲上帝。“你知道吗, ”有一天她对他说, “无论一个人在哪里, 在干什么事情, 上帝都知道。”小男孩睁大了眼睛看着他妈妈说, “哇。那他一定有一台电脑。”

　　Nice Try

　　My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who’s a hair stylist, said, “If you let us off with a warning, I’ll give you a free haircut for a year. ”

　　The policeman removed his hat--and he was completely bald.

　　by Peter Orphanos

　　尝 试

　　我和妻子被警察拦住了，他给我们开一个超速的罚款单。我的妻子是一个发型设计师，于是她就对警察说，“如果你让我们免于警告，我就为你免费理发一年。”

　　警察脱下他的帽子——他是一个光头。

　　Who is Disgusting

　　First：“My neighbor is very disgusting，who moved here recently，he rang the bell of my house with a rush late at night.”

　　Second：“It is disgusting in faith，do you call the police?”

　　First：“No.I just take him as a madman，and continue to play my piano.”

　　谁可恶

　　甲：“我家新搬来的邻居好可恶，竟然深更半夜跑来猛按我家的门铃。”

　　乙：“的确可恶。你有没有报警?”

　　甲：“没有。我当他是疯子，继续弹我的琴。”