英语笑话大全短的

　　大全短的一：

　　A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic(贵族的) lady to a group of little East-Siders.The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet(天鹅绒的)lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:Does your husband drink?Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.How much does he make?He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.You keep out of debt, I hope?Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent(无耻的) questions?Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.

　　英语笑话大全短的二：

　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, I'm going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other. Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.Joan went there and said to the matron(主妇，保姆) , I've come to visit Captain Humphreys.Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here, the matron said.Oh, that's all right, answered Joan. I'm his sister.I'm very pleased to meet you, the matron said, I'm his mother!

　　英语笑话大全短的三：

　　In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: Go barefoot.