最简单英语笑话
1、The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant. You have your choice of two brains, he told the patien. For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician. The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. Is the brain of a politician that much better? he asked. The Brain Surgeon replied, No, it’s not better, just unused. 一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。 你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。医生告诉病人，一个学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。 病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，政治家的大脑好一些吗?他问。 医生说，不是好一些，只是没有用过。
2、A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer. 医生和律师正在一个宴会上交谈。他们的谈话常被一些人打断，那些人向医生描述自己的病症，期望获得免费的治疗建议。如此这般一个钟头后，医生有点恼火，于是他问律师：“如果不在办公时间，你是怎么阻止人们向你咨询法律问题的?” “我会给他们建议，”律师回答，“然后我会给他们寄去帐单”。医生很震惊，但他还是决定这么试一试。第二天，带着点犯罪感，他准备了帐单。当他准备将它们放到邮箱里时，发现了一张来自律师的帐单。
3、Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness. The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!" The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!" Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat." 三只老鼠坐酒吧里吹着谁勇敢谁强悍。 头一只说：“我太厉害了，上回我吃了一整包老鼠药!” 第二只说：“得了，我才厉害呢，有回我被捕鼠夹夹住了，我把夹子都咬碎了。” 紧跟着第三只老鼠站起身来说：“回见了哥们，我要回去逗猫玩了。”