愚人英语笑话5个

愚人一：

　　saleswoman女售货员

　　After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

　　和盲约对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

　　Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

　　Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night。

　　Teacher: Please tell us something about it。

　　Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, 'Domestic shame should not be published.'

愚人英语笑话二：

　　混合双打

　　体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗?

　　尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢?

　　老师：你给大家讲讲当时的`情形吧。

　　尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说，”家丑不可外扬。“

　　NOTE

　　have you ever seen…你见过…

　　Domestic shame should not be published。家丑不可外扬

愚人英语笑话三：

　　一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。

　　“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”

　　“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。

　　“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”

　　I'll See to the Rest

　　A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage。

　　"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"

　　"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back。

　　"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."

愚人英语笑话四：

　　One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What's time to a pig?"

　　一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的

　　苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

愚人英语笑话五：

　　谁的父亲更强壮

　　威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说：“喏，你知道太平洋吗?就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。”

　　比尔不屑一顾：“噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗?那是我爸爸杀死的。”

　　Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger man. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it。”

　　Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father'