十万个冷笑话英文

　　英文一：

　　On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

　　一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些刚剪下来的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走进店里，一个年轻的女售货员跟我打了个招呼。

　　"Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked.

　　“先生，这些是送给你妻子的吗?”她问道。

　　"Yes," I said.

　　“是的，”我说。

　　"For her birthday?" she asked.

　　“她的生日?”她问。

　　"No," I replied.

　　“不是，”我回答。

　　"For your anniversary?"

　　“你们的结婚纪念日?”

　　"No," I said again.

　　“不是，”我又答道。

　　As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, "I hope she forgives you."

　　当我将找回的钱装进口袋，朝门口走去时，那年轻的女人冲我喊道：“希望她能原谅你。”

　　Notes:

　　spot 认出，发现

　　fresh-cut 鲜切花

　　florist 种花人

　　saleswoman女售货员

　　十万个冷笑话英文二：

　　One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

　　一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，

　　On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

　　回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的`车灯和挡风玻璃。”

　　My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

　　我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了?”

　　Notes:shopping mall 大型购物中心

　　headlight 前灯

　　windshield 挡风玻璃

　　十万个冷笑话英文三：

　　One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

　　一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。

　　Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

　　两个人站在外面，看着大火。

　　“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.”

　　“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”

　　“You don't know my work，” said the other.

　　“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。

　　“What is your work?”

　　“你是干什么的?”

　　“I'm a policeman.

　　“我是警察。”

　　“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman.

　　“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。

　　“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”

　　“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”