初中英语幽默小故事

　　roast pig 烤乳猪

　　A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig." But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

　　一位先生去赴宴迟到了，匆忙入座后，发现自己的座位正对着乳猪，于是大为高兴的说：“还不错，我坐在乳猪的旁边。”这时才发现身旁的'一位胖女士正怒目相视，他忙陪笑改口到：“对不起，我说的是那只烤好的。”

　　there's only ONE policeman

　　ne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　　译文：

　　一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

　　爷爷给我付账

　　Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

　　"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

　　With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

　　The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

　　一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台，说：“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子，多少钱?”

　　“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着，带着奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩说，“我要十码。”

　　带着期待的表情，售货员很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一脸奸笑地送了过来。

　　女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头：“爷爷给我付账。”