爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译
1、Are you going to treat me? An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance. When he saw the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice. “How old are you?” “I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily. “How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook. “Sorry again. We don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer. “Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting. “No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise. 你要请客吗? 有位美国女演员首次来中国演出，有一天演出结束后在找她的中国朋友时，碰见一位总想与老外练讲英语的中国人，可惜他一直没有这样的机会。当看到这位女演员时，他走上前去互相问候，接着便练起英语来。 “你多大啦?” “对不起，请不要问女士的年龄，”演员感到很不自在。 “你每月挣多少钱?”中国人极力回忆着教科书上的句子。 “对不起，我们也不愿意把这事告诉给人家。”她再次拒绝了对方。 “你吃过饭了吗?” 中国人再次用本民族的传方式询问对方。 “没有，你要请我吃饭吗?”她惊喜地问。
2、A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. The driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years." 乘客轻拍了一下出租车司机的肩膀,想问个问题. 司机大叫起来, 车也失去了控制, 几乎撞上一辆公车, 还上了便道, 在还差几厘米就撞上商店橱窗时终于停了下来. 司机说,“伙计,别再这么干了. 你把我吓破胆了!”乘客抱歉地说, “我没想到拍你一下就吓成这样.” 司机说,“对不起,也不全是你的错. 今天是我第一天开出租. 以前25年里我一直开殡葬车.”
3、Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing. 我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。啊噢，意识到犯了错误，我说。我刚才拐弯是违章的。我想那没关系的`，女儿回答说：我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。
4、When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explanation, he took a deep breath, and said, "Now, boys, do you have any questions?" "Yes," the younger boy answered immediately. "Go ahead," said the man, his heart in his throat. "Can we," his son asked, "have new baseball gloves?" 当妻子要生第三胎时，父亲决定给分别已七岁和九岁的两个儿子讲关于性的知识。他从图书馆查出几本书，都是关于父母如何涉及这个话题的。在结结巴巴地解释一番后，他长出了一口气，然后说：“好了，孩子们，有什么问题吗?” “有，”小儿子立即回答。 “问吧，”爸爸说，心提到了嗓子眼儿。 “我们，”儿子问道，“可以得到新棒球手套了吗?”