最搞笑的英语笑话大全

　　迟到

　　My Sister's Fingers

　　Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

　　Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.

　　Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

　　Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

　　我妹妹的手指头老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。

　　天气怎么样

　　The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?

　　Matthew: Very Cold, sir.

　　Teacher: Wrong.

　　Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

　　新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。老师：错了。马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

　　Improvement

　　One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"

　　"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."

　　一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”

　　人们什么时候说话最少?When Do People Talk Least?

　　Student A: When do people talk least?

　　Student B: In February.

　　Student A: Why?

　　Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.

　　学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的`一个月。

　　"孩子"的复数形式

　　Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?

　　Tom: Men.

　　Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?

　　Tom: Twins.

　　"孩子"的复数形式老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?

　　汤姆：男人们。老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?汤姆：双胞胎。

　　除了音乐All Except the Music

　　A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?""Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."

　　一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”