英语笑话大全精选笑破你的肚子简短

　　一天，斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西，小厮冲进了他的房间，把书一扒拉，将一个包裹扔在书桌上，说道：我的女主人送给你两只兔子。更多尽在应届毕业生笑话网。

　　小厮的小费原来是这样得来的-英汉双语笑话

　　A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr. Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. Dr. Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.

　　在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物，但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西，小厮冲进了他的`房间，把书一扒拉，将一个包裹扔在书桌上，说道：我的女主人送给你两只兔子。

　　Swift turned round and said, My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel(包裹) . Now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.

　　斯威夫特转过身来说：孩子，包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要记取这个教训。

　　The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said, Come in. The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.

　　小厮坐了下来，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲门，等待回音。小厮说进来。博士进了门，走到桌旁说道：先生，我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候，并希望您收下这些兔子，这是她儿子今天早晨在地里打的。

　　The boy answered, Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.

　　小厮回答说：谢谢你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢，谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。

　　The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.

　　博士笑了，打那以后，斯威夫特从没忘记送小费给小厮。

 

　　含糊的概念带给我的好处--双语

　　Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications(资格证书，职位要求) . Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.

　　第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。

　　I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.

　　我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。

 

　　神奇的大钟--双语幽默笑话

　　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den(私室，贼窝) . What is the big brass gong(锣) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?

　　一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?他的一个朋友问他。那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟，学生回答。这钟怎么工作的，他的朋友问。

　　Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!

　　看着，别眨眼了，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!