英语笑话带翻译三则
1、Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee.""We won't," the other two promised.Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go." 三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的`咖啡喝了，我就去。”“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”
2、A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place.Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution."Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem ham and eggs?""Not so fast," said the pig testily. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment." 一只猪和一只鸡路过一所教堂，那里有一场盛大慈善活动正在进行着。在精神上收到触动的猪向小鸡提出建议：他们每个人作出点自己的贡献。“好主意!”鸡尖叫道，“让我们给腿和鸡蛋吧?”“着什么急”猪不耐烦地说，“对你来说，是一个贡献，对我来说，这是一个完全的献身。”
3、A jackal who was going to be eaten by a lion. The jackal said to the lion: "No, please, you can't eat me! You can't eat me! This will be a great mistake. If you eat me, that'll be terrible, that will be a disaster, that will be the end of the world!"The lion was very puzzled and said: "How come? How come if I eat you, the world will end?"The jackal said:"Because if you eat me, that will be the end of the world for me!" 有只狼快被狮子吃掉了。狼对狮子说：“求求你不要吃我!你不能吃我，这是一个天大的错误!如果你吃了我，那就惨了，会有灾难、会世界末日!”狮子满脸疑惑地问：“为什么把你吃掉就会世界末日?”狼回答：“如果你吃了我，就是我的世界末日啊!”