精选幽默爆笑的英语笑话带翻译

　　有效

　　Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"

　　汤姆早上老起不来，所以上班总是迟到。他的老板非常生气，警告他如果他不能有所改善的话就炒他的鱿鱼。于是，汤姆去看医生，医生给了他一颗药丸并告诉他要在睡觉前服下这颗药。汤姆照医生的话做了，睡得非常之好，事实上，他在早上闹钟响之前就起来了。汤姆从容不迫地吃完早餐，然后兴高采烈地开车上班去了。 “老板”，汤姆说，“那药真管用，我的睡眠好极了!” “是够管用的，”老板说，“问题是，昨天你人哪去了”?

　　新员工

　　Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

　　"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held."

　　"Well," the young man said, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."

　　一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后，被叫到人事经理的办公室。

　　“这是什么意思?”经理问，“当你申请这份工作时，你告诉我们有五年工作经验，现在我们发现这其实是你的第一份工作。”

　　“嗯，”年轻人回答，“你们的广告上说需要找一个有想象力的`人嘛。”

　　Fried chicken

　　In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, "What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?"

　　Jack thought a moment, then answered, "Fried chicken, sir."

　　老师在课堂上向学生们展示了各种各样的鸟的照片。然后他问其中一名学生，“杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟儿啊?”

　　杰克想了想，回答，“炸鸡，老师。”

　　谁认为自己蠢就站起来?

　　A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

　　Little Johnny then stood up.

　　The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

　　"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

　　一个老师在对学生们讲学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。

　　小约翰尼站了起来。

　　“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼?”老师问。

　　“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

　　拍卖会上 At Auction Fair

　　At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document.

　　The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her."

　　On hearing the news, another chap(小伙子，家伙) shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."

　　拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。”

　　话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。”