神级搞笑的英语笑话
导语：一个人的聪明才智会在幽默的谈吐中闪光，并且会深深吸引他人。下面，YJBYS小编YJ给大家收集整理了神级搞笑的，增加幽默细胞，聪明的你一定会成为闪光点。1、. The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl. 鱼网 你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。 把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。
2、The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother. I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..... 新老师 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。 妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得
6, 可后来又说2加4也得
6。
3、The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的`脚把门推开.” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?” “你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.
4 、I think that I'm a chicken Psychiatrist:What's your problem? Patient:I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on? Patient:Ever since I was an egg! 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服? 病人：我认为我是一只鸡. 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的? 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始.
5、Boxing and Running Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too." 拳击和赛跑 丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。” 朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?” 丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”
6、 Old Farmer Johnson was dying.The family was standing around his bed.With a low voice he said to his wife:"When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife:"No,I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife:"But why?" Johnson:"Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" 译文： 老农约翰逊就要死了.他的家人都站在床边.他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯.” 妻子说：“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人.” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做.” 妻子：“为什么?” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我.”
7、 I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy,why have you got cotton-wool in your ear?Is it infected?" "No,sir,but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other ,so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师.可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面.”
8、“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars!Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元.” “20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元.” “是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了.”
9、 TWO：Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract.Now,can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ,in the summer the days are long,and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理.现在,谁给我举个例子? 约翰：嗯,在夏天天都长,在冬天天都短. 10、The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?" George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!" 典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。 因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗?” 乔治回答：“喔!当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面!”