英语笑话经典段子合辑

　　看一些，既能让我们学到不少英语知识，也能变得开心，今天我们就一起来看看英语笑话经典段子合辑吧!

　　英语笑话经典段子合辑(一)

　　Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith", the boss replies, "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

　　一天，史密斯去见他的客户部领导，“老板”，斯密斯说，“我们家明天要大搞清洁，我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说，“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板，”史密斯说，“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。

　　英语笑话经典段子合辑(二)

　　Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.

　　"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"

　　"What?"

　　"I'm not even thirsty!"

　　临死之前，斯坦尼斯被他挚爱的家人包围着。知道自己的最后时刻就要来了，他拿出所有力气，轻声耳语，“我必须告诉你们一个最大的秘密。”他的家人催他赶紧说。

　　斯坦尼斯说，“在我结婚之前，我什么都有：靓车，美女，还有大把大把的钱。但是一个好朋友警告我说，‘你应该结婚，建立一个家庭，否则当你奄奄一息躺在床上时，都没个人会为你端茶倒水。’于是我听取了他的建议，离开了姑娘们，娶了一个妻子。我不再把钱花在啤酒上，而是留下来给孩子们买吃的。我卖掉了我的.法拉利，投资了大学基金。所以现在才有了你们。可你们知道吗?”

　　“知道什么?”

　　“我现在一点都不渴啊!”

　　英语笑话经典段子合辑(三)

　　Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate(生气的) customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."

　　我在邮局上班，对于顾客们的各种情绪早已习以为常了。所以，有一天当一个生气的顾客气冲冲地来到我的工作台时，我还是非常平静地问她，“有什么问题吗?”“我早上上街了，”女顾客说，“我回到家的时候，我看到一个卡片，卡片说邮递员要给我们家送包裹，但没人在家。可是我的丈夫整个早上都在家啊。他说他什么都没听到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹给了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顾客喜形于色。“我们等这东西都等多少年了!”“是什么好东西?”我问。“我丈夫的新助听器”。