极品英语笑话精选

　　他的哥哥用胳膊肘轻轻地碰了他一下，说：“你为什么这么大声地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聋子。”弟弟听了回答道：“上帝是不聋，可奶奶聋呀!”以下是小编为你带来几篇，想了解更多的英语笑话请跟小编来应届毕业生笑话网吧。

　

　结婚的花费

　　A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

　　小男孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，结婚要花多少钱?”

　　His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm still paying for it now."

　　他的父亲回答说：“儿子，我不知道，因为我现在还在为它付账呢。”

 

　　I want a nightmare 想做坏梦

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."

　　"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.

　　"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：“妈妈，我昨天晚上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。”

　　“不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。

　　“那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。

 

　　what do I get 我能得到什么

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.

　　老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿?汤米：四块。老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢?汤米：汉堡。

 

　　哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的

　　Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should I say, his lack of it.One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

　　我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴，和蔼而又快乐的`人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我应该说，他是有点矮!一天，经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入，高声说，“有人拿了我的钱包!”

　　我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声，但有人却蹦出一句话：“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”!

 

　　上帝是不聋，可奶奶聋呀!

　　Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

　　His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

　　To which the younger one replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

　　两个小男孩在他们的祖父母家过夜。睡觉时间到了，这两个小男孩跪在床上祈祷。弟弟用非常大的声音祈祷着，“我祈求有一辆新自行车……我祈求有一个新游戏机……我祈求有一个新录像机……”

　　他的哥哥用胳膊肘轻轻地碰了他一下，说：“你为什么这么大声地喊叫呢?上帝又不是聋子。”

　　弟弟听了回答道：“上帝是不聋，可奶奶聋呀!”