How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

A: None, they only screw the poor

Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: (Dole) When I was a poor boy growing up in Kansas we didnt have light bulbs. Now I have the housekeeper do it.

A: (DuPont) Light bulbs need to be changed? Gosh. I guess the servants have always taken care of that... With a DuPont administration, the power of the free market will be unleashed to produce light bulbs that never need changing.

A: (Robertson) Oh, Lord, with thy divine illumination, heal this light bulb!

A: (Kemp) Its morning in America! Why should we worry about light bulbs? Let

those doom-crying Democrats worry about light bulbs! [stumble over chair in the dark].

A: (Haig) One. Snap to it, soldier!

A: (Bush) None. (Bush in an earnest lap dog voice) I resent that question. Ive answered it before, and I think the media are keeping this thing alive. I think the American people are TIRED of light bulb jokes.

Q: How many aides does it take to change President Reagans light bulb?

A: None, they like to keep him in the dark.