Automobile Fittings

　　一、

　　Automobile Fittings

　　A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy the auto accessories (配件,帮凶) in the neighborhood ?" Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car on the road .There is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough(峡谷，深谷) just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."

　　一个卡车司机向一山民打听：“请问，这附近哪儿能买到汽车配件?”　　山民说：“这条路上经常有人开英雄车，前面不远处是个急转弯，急转弯的下面就是深谷，那深谷里什么样的`汽车配件都有——根本用不着花钱。”

　　二、

　　At Auction Fair

　　At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document. The owner says:" Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate (re`munerate与reward近意：酬劳，酬报 ) him or her." On hearing the news ,another chap shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."

　　拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。”话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。”

　　三、

　　Another Engine Is Down

　　A Boeing 747 was flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain got on the loud speaker:" Travellers, one of our engines was out of order , therefore we’ll arrive in Tokyo an hour late ." After a short while, the trumpet (喇叭)rang out again:" Everybody, the second one of our four engines went wrong, we will reach Tokyo late three hours as a result." At this time, the passengers started disturbance(骚动，动乱). Someone said:" In case another engine is down again , we’ll be up here all night." Moreover, a chap got to shouting unendurably:" I do not choose to take your awful airplane any longer, let me get off quickly."

　　一架波音747飞行在太平洋的夜空，喇叭里传来机长的声音：“旅客们，我们的一个引擎坏了，因此我们将晚到达东京一个小时。”过了一会儿，喇叭再次响起：“诸位，我们四个引擎中又坏了一个引擎，为此我们将晚到三个小时。”这时，乘客开始骚动。有人说：“万一再坏一个，我们得呆在天上一整夜了。”还有已经受不了的，大叫：“我再也不坐你们的破飞机了，快让我下去。”

　　四、

　　As If Awakening From A Dream

　　A competition whose subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly: " Alcohol can break down conjugal (婚姻的，夫妻之间的)relation, even cause your wife to leave you … " A man shouts out at the news : " Give me another bottle of Brandy."

　　以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……”这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!”

　　五、

　　As the Elegant Demeanor Was

　　Chaucer was over seventy , but he was not convinced (使信服) of his age. At a time he boasted: “My physical strength is as strong as that I was young.” The opposite person asked: “ What do you rely on? ” Chaucer said : “ There is a big stone roller in my compound. I couldn’t heave it when was young, neither can(倒装句) I now.”

　　乔叟年过六旬，仍不服老。一次，他对人夸耀说：“我和年轻时力气一样大。”对方问：“何以见得?”乔叟说：“我家大院里有个碌碡，年轻时我举不起来，现在我还是举不起来。”