英语笑话段子
可以使你成为一个大气的人。小事斤斤计较的人,你可以多看看英语笑话,慢慢的你英语成绩还会变好哦。下面由YJBYS小编为大家整理的英语笑话集。 there's only ONE policeman One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” The Name of a Poet Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in some schools today. It works like this, she said. Suppose you wanted tore member the name of a poetRobert Burns, for instance. She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns. Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman, a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns! I see what you mean, said the class know it all. But how can you tell that it's Not Robert Browning? 我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。这个系统是这样的,她说,假定你要记住一个诗人的名字,例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯,让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧! 我明白你的意思,班上的万事通说,但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢? "孩子"的复数形式 Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom? Tom: Men. Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? Tom: Twins. 老师:汤姆,‘男人’这个词的'复数形式是什么? 汤姆:男人们。 老师:答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢? 汤姆:双胞胎。 Another 40 Years to live A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you." 一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院, 在手术台上,濒临死亡之际,她看到了上帝, 于是,她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。 上帝回答说,“还没有,你还能活43年,2个月零8天。” 身体快要康复的时候,这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年,得好好对待自己,于是决定先不出院,而是去给自己整整容,吸吸脂,隆隆胸,然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和其它一些美容美体手术。 她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。 做完最后一个手术,这位女士出院了, 但就在过马路的时候,她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。 再一次,她又站到了上帝的面前,她大惑不解地问上帝,“我记得你说我还能再活40年?” 上帝回答,“那个时候我没认出你来”。类似笑话
热门笑话
- 笑到肚子痛的100个笑话儿童
- 关于鹦鹉的笑话集锦
- 佛家第一神咒——常念此咒能逢凶化吉,出入平安,人無橫禍!!
- 身分證尾數有「4個數字」,注定大富大貴,10個裡10個都會成富豪!
- 佛說:最好的禮貌是不多管閑事
- 方言笑话--河南篇
- 搞笑图片:大姐,你弯腰的瞬间,好像暴露了什么秘密!
- 中国古代笑话 爆笑100个
- 关于男女房事笑话5个
- 很污的污笑话段子 爆笑男女之间小故事
- 八十八 (打一字)
- 100个关于家庭的笑话大全
- 东北幽默小笑话
- 五年级下册古今冷笑话
- 儿童笑话大全100个笑破肚子疼 简短
- 5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本
- 200字幽默笑话小故事集锦
- 经典动物笑话大全爆笑50个
- 土豆的幽默笑话
- 每天靠牆豎腿30分鐘,一個月後,你會發現自己的腿大變樣了!
其他人在看
- 开学的第一天
- 让老公去洗胸罩!爆笑
- 我家里很穷
- 王八
- 青年男女的幽默有点过了火!
- 小心噩夢連連,害人不淺的臥室風水,你知道嗎?臥室風水壞了,會讓你諸事不順,早發現早改變!
- 搞笑图片:千万不要眨眼睛,肉来了~
- 搞笑GIF图片:还是当演员好啊
- 這一物是「中年之寶」,止咳潤肺、降脂養胃、美容抗衰老,還能預防動脈硬化!不喝吃虧的是你!
- 超實用!裝修記住這幾十條口訣你就是裝修專家!以後就可以避開裝修的雷區!不花冤枉錢了!
- 止痛片
- 人见人笑的爆笑逗B
- 借安宁
- 摔跤
- 跳楼的误解
- 螃蟹和蘑菇一起吃,會加速鈣流失?闢謠:食物相剋說法沒道理
- 哥哥,感冒了
- 秋燥肺虛時不時咳嗽,廚房常備一物泡水喝,保全家健康
- 精辟的论述
- 皮包和皮鞋