适合小学生阅读的英语笑话故事

　　铅笔

　　What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

　　Answer: use a pen.

　　若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办?

　　答案：用原子笔

　　1000元的脑筋急转弯

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

　　Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起?

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　答案：当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

　　法官与小偷

　　It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,

　　“What is your offense?”

　　“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.

　　“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

　　“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner

　　圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦的问受刑人：

　　“你做了什么坏事啊?”

　　“我今年圣诞节购物早了些。”犯人回答。

　　“那并不事件坏事”，法官说：“到底多早之前啊?”

　　“商店开门之前。”犯人答道。

　　The Three Stages of Man男性成长三阶段

　　He believes in Santa Claus.

　　He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

　　He is Santa Claus!

　　相信圣诞老人的.存在。

　　不相信圣诞老人的存在。

　　自己是个圣诞老人!

　　Motivation 动机

　　MY ENGLISH PROFESSOR once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

　　我们英文课的教授有一次在课上讲“动机”。“是什么推动你在人生的路上向前走?”他问道，“是什么让你每天上学来?又是什么驱使你追求成功?”冲着一个女学生，他问：“是什么让你早晨从床上爬起来的呢?”学生答道：“我妈妈。”

　　Mental deficiency 智力缺陷

　　"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." " Well, What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

　　“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要问什么样的问题呢?”“嗯，你可以这样问，‘库克船长环球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鲍勃想了一会儿，紧张的回答道，“你就不能问另外一个问题吗?坦率地说，我对历史了解的不是很多。”