短篇英语笑话大全乐翻天

　　Who do you think you are?

　　The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.

　　“It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”

　　“I am the driver.” he said.

　　你以为你是谁?

　　公共汽车上很挤，当又一个人还是试图上车时，乘客们不让他上。

　　“车上太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁?”

　　“我是司机!”他说。

　　what do I get

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

　　Tommy: Quarters.

　　Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

　　Tommy: Hamburger.

　　老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿?

　　汤米：四块。

　　老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢?

　　汤米：汉堡。

　　the ugliest baby

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的.小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”

　　health, excellent

　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read

　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).

　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed1 to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

　　父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

　　“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”