英语搞笑故事

　　I can't let him get away

　　A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."

　　不能让他跑了

　　一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇!她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。

　　第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”

　　“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

　　Once God came up to me and granted me a wish.

　　I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said.

　　Then I asked him to give me brains. He said, Let me try world peace.

　　有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。

　　我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。

　　然后我请让我变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”

　　圣诞节晚宴上的餐前祷告

　　Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

　　He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"

　　有个小男孩叫Lee, 今年七岁，圣诞节晚餐开桌前，家人让他做餐前祷告。家人都带着期待的`申请低头看着他，Lee开始做他得祷告，首先，他谢谢上帝赐予他爸爸妈妈，哥哥姐姐诶，奶奶还有他们家的所有叔叔婶婶。然后，他开始感谢上帝赐予他得圣诞节晚餐了。

　　他感谢上帝赐予他火鸡，馅儿饼，圣诞布丁和红莓酱。然后Lee停下来了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。Lee沉默了很长时间，然后抬起头看着他妈妈说：“妈妈，如果我感谢上帝赐予我甘蓝菜，他会知道我在撒谎吗?”

　　注：国外很多小孩子都不喜欢吃甘蓝菜，看《绝望主妇》里面Lynette家的双胞胎就非常讨厌吃甘蓝菜，请了保姆后还拿这个来做实验，看看她们家保姆有没有魅力让两个小鬼头把甘蓝菜吃下去。