英语笑话让你笑颜常开

　　宁可不要的荣耀 An Unwelcome Honor

　　A doctor came into the hospital ward and said to Mr. Johnson, "I have some good news and some bad news for you."

　　Then Mr. Johnson said, "Please, give me the good news first."

　　So the doctor said, "The doctors here are going to name an incurable disease after you."

　　一位医生走进医院的病房，告诉强森先生：“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。”

　　强森先生说：“请先告诉我好消息吧!”

　　医生说：“本院的医师决定用你的`名字，来为一种不治之症命名。”

　　走私犯 A Smugglar

　　The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry(哨兵). When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at theseams(缝合线) .

　　"What's in here?" he asked.

　　"Dirt," the driver replied.

　　"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

　　Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

　　A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

　　"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

　　"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

　　Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

　　The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender(酒保) .

　　Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house(免费) tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."

　　Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."

　　一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时，惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。

　　“里面装的是什么?”他问道。

　　“土。”司机回答。

　　“把袋子拿出来”，哨兵命令道：“我要检查。”

　　那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实，口袋里除了土以外，别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。

　　一周后，那人又来了，哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。

　　“这次袋子里装的是什么?”他问道。

　　“土，又运了一些土。”那人回答。

　　哨兵不相信，对那些袋子又进行了检查，结果发现，除了土以外，仍旧一无所获。

　　同样的事情每周重演一次，一共持续了六个月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心丧气，干脆辞职去当了酒吧侍者。

　　有天夜里，那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧，下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说，“我说，老兄，你要是能帮我一个忙，今晚的酒就归我请客。你能不能告诉我，那段时间你到底在走私什么东西?”

　　那人俯身过来，凑近侍者的耳朵，裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说：“汽车。”