史上最搞笑的英语笑话汇总

　　太阳和月亮

　　Two boys are talking about the sun and the moon. "Which one of them is more useful?" asked one of them.

　　两个男孩在谈论太阳和月亮。“它们中哪个更有用?”其中一个问道。

　　"Of course the moon is. The moon is in the sky when it's dark, but the sun is in the sky in the daytime when nobody needs it."

　　“当然是月亮。月亮在天黑时挂在天空，但太阳是在白天谁也不需要它时挂在天空。”

　　there's only ONE policeman

　　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　　一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?”“唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

　　A Girl's Name 女孩的名字

　　When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late(已故的) father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine(男性的) .

　　Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.

　　Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.

　　女儿出生时，我们给她取名叫迈尔斯，和我深爱的业已过世的父亲同一个名字，不过家人提醒这个名字太男性化了。

　　几年以后，我觉得迈尔斯已经长大，能够懂事了。我对她解释说：你的名字很特别。我给你取了一个和我爸爸一样的名字，因为我非常爱他。我相信他会为你而深感自豪的'。

　　迈尔斯很仔细地想了一下，然后说道：这些我都懂，妈妈。可是我不知道外公为什么会有一个女孩子的名字。

　　what do I get 我能得到什么

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.

　　老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿?汤米：四块。老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢?汤米：汉堡。

　　他正在拍照

　　Two sisters were looking at a book of religious pictures and came across a painting of the Virgin and the baby Jesus.

　　姐妹俩在看一本宗教画册时，刚好看到一幅圣母玛利亚和圣婴耶稣的图画。

　　"See there," said the older sister, "that's Jesus, and that's his mother."

　　姐姐说：“瞧，这是耶稣，这是他的妈妈。”

　　"Where's his dad?" the younger girl wanted to know.

　　“他的爸爸在哪里?”妹妹想知道。

　　Her sister thought for a moment and explained, "Oh, he's taking the picture."

　　姐姐想了一会儿，解释道：“噢，他正在拍照。”

　　小孩你到底要闹那样

　　A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest boy and returned to her.

　　一位女士圣诞节购物时丢了钱包。一个诚实的小男孩捡到了钱包，还给了她。

　　Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...that's funny. When I lost my purse there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

　　她看了看钱包，说：“嗯……真有趣。我丢钱包时，里面有一张20元的钞票。现在却有20张一元的钞票。”

　　The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

　　那个男孩马上回答说：“没错，太太。上次我捡到一位女士的钱包，她没有零钱酬谢。”