开心一刻的英语笑话
1、A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it. "Two pence," said the man. "No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again." The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave. "A penny." said the barber. "I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again." 一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面.理发师向他买了一把扫帚.当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱. 卖扫帚的人说:"两便士" "不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士.如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去." 卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱. 卖扫帚的人说:"我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的'话,你可以把胡子再替我装上."
2、A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say,..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom." 在一个小镇上，一位警官拦住了大街上超速行驶的汽车司机。 “但是，长官，”他开始试图解释，“我可以解释” “安静点，我会让你在狱中冷静下来，直到警长回来。”警官说。 “但是，警官，我只是想说……”司机不甘心。 “我说保持安静!你要进监狱!”(交警才不管那么多呢!) 几个小时之后，警官对他说，“你很幸运，警长去参加他女儿的婚礼。他会在他心情好的时候再回来。” “别指望了，”司机回答，“我就是新郎。”
3、A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker".The man quickly responds, "The attorney's"."Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!" 一个人心脏病突发被送进了医院。医生告诉他除非马上做心脏移植手术，否则他将活不成了。“你很幸运，我们刚好有两个心脏在这儿，所以你必须选择其中一个。它们分别属于一个律师和一个社会工作者。”病人很快回答：“律师的那个。”“等等!在作决定之前，难道你不需要了解多一点他们的情况吗?”病人说：“我知道的够多的了。社会工作者都是热心人，而律师可能从来都没有用过他的良心。所以我选择律师的心脏。”