动物之间的英语笑话

　　一、Kangaroos and the Cage 袋鼠与笼子

　　One day the staff members of a zoo called a meeting to discuss the problem--how to deal with the kangaroos that were found out of the cage. They came to the conclusion that the cage was placed too low and decided to raise it from one to two meters high. But the next day the kangaroos were still at large and they again raised the cage to three meters.

　　有一天，动物园的管理员们发现袋鼠从笼子里跑出来了，于是开会讨论，一致认为是笼子的高度过低，所以他们决定将笼子的高度由原来的1米加高到2米。结果第二天他们发现，袋鼠还是跑到外面来，所以他们又决定再将高度加高到3米。

　　Quite beyond their expectation the next morning they saw the kangaroos still free to go about. They were alarmed and determined to go to all the length by raising the cage to the height of ten meters.

　　没想到隔天居然又看到袋鼠全跑到外面，于是管理员们大为紧张，决定一不做二不休，将笼子的高度加高到10米。

　　Later a giraffe, while chatting with some kangaroos, asked them, “Do you think they will go on raising your cage?”

　　一天，长颈鹿和几只袋鼠在闲聊，“你们看，这些人会不会再继续加高你们的笼子?”长颈鹿问。

　　“Hard to say,” said a kangaroo, “if they continue forgetting to fasten the cage door.”

　　“很难说。”袋鼠说，“如果他们再继续忘记关门的话!”

　　二、Three Turtles 三只乌龟

　　Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee.""We won't," the other two promised.Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."Just then avoice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

　　只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的`那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　三、Brave Rats 勇敢的老鼠

　　Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

　　The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"

　　The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"

　　Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."

　　三只老鼠坐酒吧里吹着谁勇敢谁强悍。

　　头一只说：“我太厉害了，上回我吃了一整包老鼠药!”

　　第二只说：“得了，我才厉害呢，有回我被捕鼠夹夹住了，我把夹子都咬碎了。”

　　紧跟着第三只老鼠站起身来说：“回见了哥们，我要回去逗猫玩了。”

　　四、Skunk 臭鼬

　　"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"

　　"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."

　　Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.

　　"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"

　　“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬，”打电话的人对警察调度员尖叫道。“我们怎样才能把它弄出来?”

　　“弄一些面包屑，”调度员说，“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。然后将地下室的门打开。”

　　一段时间后，那位居民又将电话打了回来。“你们将它弄出来了吗?”调度员问。

　　“没有，”打电话的人答道，“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。”