经典英语笑话五年级
带翻译的让我们理解更加容易，一起来看看吧。 一个真正的男子汉 One real man One real man The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地). Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall. Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds. 一个真正的男子汉 古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。 然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。 国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的.笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。 陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。 The King and His Stories 国王和他的故事 Once there was a king. He likes to write stories, but his stories were not good. As people were afraid of him, they all said his stories were good. One day the king showed his stories to a famous writer. He waited the writer to praise these stories. But the writer said his stories were so bad that he should throw them into fire. The king got very angry with him and sent him to prison. After some time, the king set him free. Again he showed him some of his new stories and asked what he thought of them. After reading them, the writer at once turned to the soldiers and said: “ Take me back to prison, please.” Family problems… Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot. The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven'teven met once.' We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.' The American said, Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.. And you say you have family problems.. Count to one Hundred Before You Speak In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,"Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100." No sooner had the teacher stopped talking than the students began to count. at last all the students shouted together,"1...98,99,100.teacher,your clothes are on fire." 数到一百再说 课堂上，老师背靠火炉站着，对学生们说：“说话前要三思，起码数到50，重要的事情要数到一百。” 老师的话音刚落，学生立刻从“1”开始数起来。最后一起喊：“98，99，100!老师，您的衣服着火了。” The Advantage of Alcohol In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?" The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol." 酒的好处 为了证明酒精对生物的危害，老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，虫子很快就死了。老师问一个学生：“这说明了什么?” 学生答道：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。”