搞笑英语儿童笑话
假如你是一个经理，那么你能干嘛呢?下面来看看yjbys小编整理的就知道啦。 假如我是一个经理 One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – If I Am a Manager.All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.I am waiting for my secretary, was the boy’s answer. 一天课上，老师要同学们以如果我是一个经理为题写一篇。所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。我在等我的秘书。那孩子答道。 How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂 "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class. "No!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?" Again, the answer was, "No!" "Well, " I continued, "then how can I get into heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!" “如果我把房子和车卖了，在车库举行义卖, 并把所有的钱给穷人，我能进天堂吗?”我问主日学校的孩子。 孩子们齐声回答：“不能!” “那如果我每天都打扫教堂，给院子的草坪割草，并且把东西都收拾得干净整洁，我会上天堂吗?” 回答还是：“不能!”“好吧， ”我继续问, “那我要怎样才能升天堂呢?” 一个五岁的男孩儿叫道：“你得死了才行!” Easy or Not Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple "Good morning". "Good morning," she replied cheerfully. "I'm going to have to use this drive-up all the time. It's so easy!" 一位妇女把车沿着我们银行的'驱车直达窗口开过来，可她并不满意于她停的位置。因此她倒车，靠得更近点。还是不满意，倒车，再来。五次努力后，终于她把车停下来，摇下车窗。我简单地问候她一声“早上好”。 “早上好，”她愉快地回答说，“以后我都要使用这种驱车直达窗口。真是如此的方便。” I Want Her to go Nuts Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But you're not wearing any of those things." "I know," said Mrs. Flinders." It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarry right away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry." 福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说：“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯，还有红宝石垂饰。” “但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。” “我知道。”福林德斯夫人说，“万一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯。” 新老师 George comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问。“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得
6。” 两颗番茄 he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?" 两颗番茄去逛街，第一颗番茄突然走得很快，第二颗番茄就问：“我们要去哪里?” 第一颗番茄没有回答，第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄还没回答，所以第二颗番茄又问了一次。 第一颗番茄终于慢慢转头说：“我们不是番茄吗?我们会说话吗?”