经典小学生英语笑话故事

　　咒语

　　An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

　　一个男人找到一个巫婆，要求她解开一条困扰了自己40年的咒语。

　　The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

　　巫婆说："或许我可以做的到，但你必须一字不落地告诉我下咒的时候说的那句咒语。"

　　The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."

　　男人毫不犹豫的答道：“‘我现在宣布你们成为夫妇。’”

　　世界各地的蹩脚英语

　　①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。

　　日本旅馆：如果您想调节您房间的温度，请控制您自己。

　　②Please don't feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。

　　匈牙利动物园：请不要给动物喂食。如果您有食品，请喂给值班警卫。

　　③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。

　　挪威酒吧：女士们不要在酒吧里生孩子。

　　④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。

　　瑞典皮货商店：为女士们制作的皮大衣，是用她们的皮制成的。

　　⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。

　　香港牙科诊所：由最新的卫理公会教徒给您拔牙。

　　⑥Drop your trousers here for best results。

　　泰国的干洗店：在这里脱掉您的.裤子，等待最好的结果。

　　⑦Specialist in women and other diseases。

　　意大利妇科诊所：我们是women和其他疾病的专家。

　　⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。

　　俄国公墓：欢迎访问这个公墓，许多著名的俄国艺术家每天埋在这里，但星期四不埋。

　　⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions。

　　丹麦机场：我们将拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。

　　⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here。

　　墨西哥旅馆：旅馆经理将亲自为您撒尿。

　　送出去还有的东西

　　What can Santa give away and still keep?

　　Answer: a cold.

　　什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着?

　　答案：感冒。

　　圣诞老人的爱好

　　What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

　　圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?

　　答案：锄地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。)

　　铅笔

　　What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

　　Answer: use a pen.

　　若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办?

　　答案：用原子笔

　　1000元的脑筋急转弯

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

　　Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起?

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　答案：当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。