网上流传的几个热门英语笑话

　　笑话 1

　　为什么六怕七呢?

　　Q: Why was six scared of seven?

　　A: Because seven "ate" nine.

　　问题：为什么六怕七呢?

　　回答：因为七连九都能吃掉呢!

　　(笑点：本应该是seven eight nine, 但是利用了发音相同，将eight用ate(吃)替换掉了。)

　　笑话 2

　　用“beans(豆子)”造句

　　A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

　　一名老师让学生们利用单词“beans(豆子)”造句，其中一个女孩说“我爸爸种豆子”。另外一个同学说“我妈妈炒豆子”。第三名学生说“我们是人类”。

　　(笑点：老师让用的单词是beans，豆子的意思，结果，第三个学生将beings 和 beans 搞混了，因为发音相同。)

　　笑话 3

　　两块蛋糕

　　Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

　　Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

　　汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?

　　妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!

　　笑话 4

　　小女孩的愿望

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。

　　笑话 5

　　拳击和赛跑

　　Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he lefthis friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."

　　Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone muchbigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."

　　Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

　　丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”

　　朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”

　　丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

　　笑话 6

　　Thinking Back 回忆

　　We were gathered together, all ten of us, for our widowed mother's 80th birthday. The conversation was of early struggles, walking to work and saving up in clothing clubs, when my elder sister said, "Of course, we were bound to be poor because we were such a big family. Mom, why did you have so many children?"

　　Mother looked around at us all and said, "Well, where did you want to me to stop?"

　　我们总共十个人，聚在一起祝贺已成为寡妇的妈妈的八十岁生日。谈的话题是我们家早年的.艰辛，走着去上班，在“新衣会”里存钱准备买衣裳。这时我姐姐说：“当然，我们的生活没法子不艰难，因为我们家孩子太多了。妈妈，您为什么要生这么多的孩子呢?”

　　妈妈看了我们一圈说：“那么，你想让我在哪儿停住呢?”

　　笑话 7

　　Dating for Mother 约会

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

　　约会

　　在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗?” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她?”

　　笑话 8

　　What do I get? 我能得到什么?

　　Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?

　　老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿?

　　Tommy: Quarters.

　　汤米：四块。

　　Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?

　　老师：那我要是再切两次，我能得到什么呢?

　　Tommy: Hamburger.

　　汤米：汉堡。

　　笑话 9

　　The frog青蛙

　　The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich.

　　He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”

　　青蛙

　　老师正在给学生上生物课：现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。